Dear Joel
I don't love you because you're perfect, you're perfect because I love you.
Life knocks you down, time and time again. Everytime you fall flat on your face with disappointment, regret, or a
broken heart staring back at you, you have to make it your personal goal to pick up as much of yourself as you can.
What I've learned is: the more it happens, the smaller the amount of yourself you're able to regain becomes.
I remember when I'd fallen that last time; that one time where I didn't think there was enough of me to piece back together. I'd lost so very mcuh, that it was just easier to just sit there and let the world - that had so desperately set out to swallow me up - finally win.
When you don't have the will to stand on your own, sometimes it takes the outstretched hand of a loving soul to give you the push you need. You were the grace that placed itselfs where lives were torn apart. The first time I said it, it was in reference to my loving late sister/best friend, but as time passed I've realized how much truth it holds for us, too. You were that outstretched hand. You were the blessing that saved me from losing myself to my own broken spirit.
You are proof that people enter and leave one's life for a myriad of reasons, but never before their time. You entered my life at just the right time. You taught me how to laugh again; how to love myself and through your loving actions you taught me how to be loved again.
"You know you're in love when your can't sleep because your reality is better than your dreams"
You reminded me of how it felt to have such an inpentrable bond with someone that nothing but love could have created and fueled something so strong. From that fateful moment when I realized that you were everything I'd ever want, by any stretch of the imagination, you have superceeded all of my expectations, and even in our dark hours I know I wouldn't trade those bad times for anything or anyone in the world. The good times are so precious that I can even appreciate the squabbles and spats that every relationship goes through. They make the good times even sweeter.
You've changed my life: You've changed me. Even after 4 years you can still make me laugh until my sides hurt, or make me excited about our future. You can still make me angry beyond all measure, because only something you're passionate about can make you insane. I still can't see my life before you, or imagine it without you. You're still my safe teddy bear; my stronghold.You still tell me how you can't put into words the way you feel about me. You still wake up out of your sleep if i shift just a bit (because we're one - according to you) - and I think that's how it should be.
I just hope that as we grow together and continue to make the memories we always reminisce about that I will have done just as much for you emotionally and spiritually as you done for me.
To my other half -- my sister.
IMANI C. BROWN 1986-2002.
You will forever shine through us.
This is the girl that never wanted a fuss made over her. A colorful, witty, exubrant, classy girl, and the best friend anyone could ever have. She put everyone else before her,even me. She gave me support. Motivation. Inspiration and strength. And in her passing she taught many people things they may have never had the opportunity to learn. She was my first and one of my strongest companionships. For that and for many other reasons, I love you from the bottom of my heart, Imani. Without you I wouldn't be the person I am today. You are what more people should aspire to be: Smart, generous, opinionated, talented, head-strong, determined, disciplined, and beautiful. You will always be missed. I ♥ you.

